Remember when you were young and you thought love was
this invincible, bulletproof force that was immune to outside influence,
impervious to evil and capable of overcoming all obstacles? And, then you found
out your girlfriend was sleeping with your best friend since a week after you
met, and that bubble was ruptured, never to be restored again.
Sorry. Maybe we got a little personal on that one.
Maybe, you're one of the lucky few who remains a fool for love, and the wool
has yet to wear away before your eyes. We hate to single-handedly destroy your
remaining naivete, but women do cheat. Thankfully, more often than not, these
kind of things don't often happen without some sort of warning. Or in some
cases, many. Here are intimations of infidelity that should tentatively raise
flags: 10 Signs Your Girlfriend Is Cheating On You.
She
pays more attention to her phone than you.
If you inevitably spend every dinner glaring at her as
she pivots between various social networks and replies to every text message
that springs up, don't be too quick to write her behavior off as a sign of the
times.
Sure, we're all guilty of being so overly engrossed in
our digital lives that we neglect the present moment. But if she makes a
continual habit of talking to her Twitter followers more than you during dinner
dates, it may point to her lack of investment in the relationship, not just her
fleeting attention span. We don't want to say she might be spending your night
together making plans with someone else, but stranger things have happened.
She's
less interested in sex.
Every couple has sex routines. Maybe three times a week
is your norm; maybe you get it in every night. But if your norm inexplicably
changes, and you find you're battling a new excuse every night, you may want to
investigate what lies at the root of the issue. Is she really too tired (every
damn night)? Has your sex life just gotten that boring? Or, is she simply
disinterested in humping you...because she's getting it elsewhere?
We're not saying you should draw wild conclusions from a
single "not tonight," but be aware of what normal looks like so you
know when your sex schedule diverges from it, and take the time to discuss what
the real issue is.
Her
social calendar is suddenly bursting at the seams.
Saturdays used to be your day. Nothing was said, no
plans were made; it was just assumed that you'd be spending time together. But
lately, it seems something more important to her comes up each week. Your
weekly dates are no longer set in stone, and everything and everyone else takes
precedent.
If you see your quality time slowly dwindling away, it
absolutely points to her waning interest in the relationship, and it could mean
she has transferred her affections elsewhere, or is at least entertaining the
thought.
Independence is healthy, but a new-found focus on
partying with her friends could mean she's putting herself out there again and
is seriously considering pulling the plug on your love.
She
accumulating new clothes at higher rates than usual.
If your girl goes into makeover mode and tears through
the mall like Sonic the Hedgehog on a mission, you should take notice. Most
women have an affinity for retail, but if her shopping takes on a rabid focus
seemingly out of nowhere, you should ask yourself why she has become invested
in reinventing herself.
Again, it's about a departure from the norm. If your girl
normally puts on a full face of make-up to run errands, don't think twice about
her putting on mascara to go to the dry-cleaners. But if she's a
sweats-and-Chapstick type of chick, and she suddenly starts taking an hour to
get ready to go out (particularly, without you), you have a reason to worry.
She's
overly concerned with your whereabouts.
Remember when you first met and every day was peppered
with a constant exchange of flirty, borderline-salacious text messages? It's
normal for your text game to fall off from that initial honeymoon phase, but if
she takes hours to respond without explanation, and can't muster up an ounce of
enthusiasm when she does, it's not a good look for your relationship.
There's a real possibility she's under stress at work,
or just in an emotional rut. But if you're able to rule that out (which you can
do with a few simple questions) and you notice she rarely takes the initiative
to text—and if she does, it's to ask where you are—she might be tracking your
whereabouts for less than innocent reasons. We hate to be the ones to say it,
but she's not suddenly interested in the minutiae of your day—she's covering
her ass.
She
isn’t making plans for the future.
If you look in your iPhone's calendar, are the upcoming
months looking unusually devoid of commitments? None of her 200 cousins has a
wedding planned, you've yet to confirm any plans for your accrued vacation
days, and hell, you haven't even heard about one of those double dates with her
best friend she usually forces you to pencil in each month.
It's possible she's overwhelmed at work or otherwise
preoccupied; it's also possible she's plotting an escape and is hesitant to extend
any invitations knowing she'll eventually have to rescind them. Or, even worse,
she's too invested in someone new to realize she's been neglecting your shared
social schedule.
She
flirts with other people in front of you.
This points to larger issues of being attention-starved,
having an insatiable ego, and otherwise being insecure. But more notably, if
she's comfortable batting her eyes at other people in front of you, what is she
doing when you're not there?
She
starts pointing fingers in your direction.
If your previously secure girlfriend suddenly goes into
paranoia mode, you should take notice. If she snaps at you over seemingly
innocent actions (basically, anything on this list, but in small, completely
commonplace increments), she might be trying to throw you off her scent. By
focusing your attention to your perceived failings, you'll be less apt to
interrogate her about her actual foul play, which is just the way she'd like
it.
She
makes a point to say she’s unhappy.
It's easy to misinterpret any of the aforementioned
signals as infidelity when in actuality, there is a perfectly reasonable
explanation. But, if you start noticing that the signs are slowly piling up,
and she's recently admitted she's no longer happy in the relationship, you
might be on the verge of a full-fledged confession.
Guilt is a tricky emotion, and she might feel that by
fessing up to her flailing satisfaction in the relationship, she is offering
you (and herself) an explanation for her selfish actions. Or, she could be
gearing up to act on a long-held impulse, and making her excuses in advances so
she can later utter, "I told you so," with aplomb.
She
falls off the radar for large gaps of time.
So, she disappeared for five hours for the third time in
a week and blamed it on falling asleep, and you actually believed her? That's
cute. We guess what they say is true—love is actually blind.
We hate to be the ones to pry those stubborn eyelids
open, but if your girl goes M.I.A. for days at a time, you need to stop making
excuses and start getting answers.
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